Axem a Go Go Baby!
by tiggerkiddo
Summary: The region of Unova...is under attack by the deranged pyscho Rangers...the umm err.. Axem Rangers! Is this really the real Axem Rangers or a bunch of clowns in suits? What do they want? Will the combined force of Ethan, Roxie, May, Lyra, Iris and Silver be able to stop this menace...wait hold up, Silver!
1. Chapter 1

"And a one and a two and a three—" Homika said before her band began to bang out another tune, this one to one of her more familiar songs, perhaps the most famous one of all.

However just like the other times today, the song started out good but would soon descend into clash between the drummer, the bassist and electronic keyboard. Unfortunately for Dogars, that didn't turn into a musical sensation but just a lot of noise. A whole lot of noise at that. Thankfully the awfulness didn't continue for long as she spoke up. "Wait, wait…hold the f*** up! What is going on guys? We sound like one of those freaking garage bands that just started up a few hours ago. Except we aren't! What's wrong?"

The bald drummer known simply as Chuck, looked up from his weapons and sighed. "Homika, aren't you being a bit of a spaz here?"

"Yea girl. We always start out slow, even on our signature songs. It's nothing to worry about. I think you're just nervous about our next concert."

Homika slashed the strings on her guitar. "F*** no! I'm not nervous at all; I just want everything to be right! I don't want us to go on stage and sound like a bunch of amateurs."

"Uh, except we aren't?" Chuck said. He drummed out a short riff. "It's okay to admit you're a tad nervous. We'll be debuting several new songs for the upcoming release, we'll be playing before the largest crowd ever and even the Champion of Unova will be in attendance."

"I am not nervous! I don't ever get nervous…ever! Never ever! Augh…f*** it, take two guys. We'll start up in a hour or so," she said as she set down the guitar and walked off. Well more like stomped off. She hopped off the stage and made her way to the nearby trailer.

Ethan sat up as she slammed the door open, roused from his midday nap. Wiggler let out an annoyed squeak at having his nap interrupted as well but Homika just shot him a look. She closed the door and leaned against it. "F***!"

"What else is new?"

She removed the hair ornaments in her hair and let it fall down as she walked over and sat down on the bed. "I don't know…f***! I'm a wreck."

"It's okay to admit you're nervous you know. Everyone gets nervous. I'm nervous every time a challenger comes in with a new team to challenge me."

"You aren't nervous. You secretly hope someone will dethrone you because you're bored with it."

He turned on his side and chuckled. She was right about that. He thought he would be overjoyed to finally be the Champion but so far, sooo boring. Maybe he would have appreciated it more if he had finally beaten Crystal instead? "Yea, I guess so."

"But…what am I going to do? I'm afraid I'm going to screw up in front of everyone?"

He smiled. "Why not say why you are so nervous? You've performed before huge crowds before. You've debuted new songs at concerts before. You've performed before Champions before? There has to be a reason."

He turned over to look at her and she buried her face in her hands. "Oh…I've performed before Champions before but this time is different."

"Because the Champion is your boyfriend?"

She chuckled. "F*** man, stop selling yourself short. You're more important than that. And yes…it's one thing to perform before Champions…"

"Then don't think of me as the Champion. I don't even introduce myself as the Champion to people. Everyone just calls me the Champion but I don't really see myself as one."

"I know but…ugh! I just need to blow off some steam."

He looked toward the windows. "Well you have some of those prop guitars right? Smack something with them."

She laughed as she got up and walked over to the door. For a moment he thought she was going to go and do just that but she just locked the door instead. He kind of knew where this was going. "I've got a better idea."

He sighed. "Again?"

"Again? You're a guy! You're supposed to be seducing me!"

"You're the rock star—"

"Yes but just once I would love for you to come on to me, make me blush, make me weak in the knees—"

"Roxie, for that to happen…I'm really afraid what I would have to do for that to happen. I'll pass!"

She giggled as she reached behind her back. "Well…I'm gonna teach you…more than a few things so you better pay atten—"

They heard a loud crash that sounded like it came from the stage. She walked over the window and pulled down the blinds. "What happened?"

"What…there is some freaking clown dressed like a f****** power ranger or…hey, he's smashing up the stage! What the f***?" She yelled. She rushed out of the trailer and he looked over at Wiggler.

"Dressed like a power ranger? Let's go check it out Wiggler!"

He let out a squeak as he rolled out of bed and slipped on his shoes. They hurried out of the trailer and he could see a guy dressed like a black power ranger, complete with fancy gold plated shoulder blades and a snazzy helmet to boot. In his hands was a large black axe, which he used to smash up the large speakers and electronic equipment. Homika chased after him with one of her prop guitars and he wasn't sure whether to help or laugh. "Who dresses up like a power ranger and does this? It's like some sort of joke."

"You call us a joke? The jokes on you!" A loud, booming voice said from behind. He began to turn around but felt something hit him in the back of his head, sending him to the ground. Wiggler squeaked as the guy landed on his back. "Pathetic! You're supposed to be the great Champion and yet you have already fallen to Axem Red!"

Axem Red…wait, hold on just a minute! Axem Red?! Was this some sort of joke? "Axem…what?"

"Axem Red and get it right!"

Ethan began to sit up and the guy hopped off his back but as he stood up, he felt cold metal against his neck. Wiggler let out a worried squeak. "I take it you came here for a reason? You guys got your butts whooped before, don't you think it's time to retire?"

Axem Red laughed. "Retire? Just a minor little setback! We may have been defeated before but like a phoenix from the ashes, we will rise again!"

"And you intend to do that by stealing some Pokemon—"

He felt him press the axe harder against his neck, not enough to draw blood but if he wanted to, he could probably do some real damage. "You catch on fast, real fast. Now how about you turn over some Pokemon? I figure the Champion of Unova would be loaded with some powerful Pokemon."

"So just how did you get here?"

"I got an axe at your neck. You hand over the Pokemon now! I don't think I have to answer your questions!"

Whatever explanation he did give would probably make no sense so he reached into his pockets, remembering he had a few empty Pokeballs on him. If anything, he wouldn't realize it was empty until later. "Okay, here you go."

Axem Red pulled his axe away as he took the Pokeballs. He looked them over a bit before he slammed the bottom of his axe into the ground. "Axem Black, c'mon and let's meet up with the others! We have what we want!"

Axem Black stopped attacking the stage and kicked one of the smashed up drums in Homika's direction, causing her to jump out of the way, sending a stream of curses his way. "Oh, is that so? Took you long enough Red—"

"That's Axem Red soldier and stop wasting time! I let you have your fun but it's now time to get to work!"

Axem Black sighed and hurried off the stage while the two made their escape. Homika quickly scrambled off the stage and hurried over to them. "Hey, why are you letting them just getting away like that? That goon smashed up my stage and some of our equipment and you just let him go free and clear?!"

He put his hand on her shoulder. "I didn't actually give them some Pokemon, just some empty Pokeballs."

"That still doesn't explain why you let them go!"

"They had actual weapons for one and Axem Red was close enough to me that I didn't trust my reflexes enough if he decided to swing it."

She frowned. "Well…I guess. Ugh but that f***** did so much damage to the stage…and the instruments! We're lucky the concert is still a week or…f***!" She yelled to the sky. He reached over and put his arm around her shoulders. She seemed pretty shocked at first but chuckled. "Ugh…thanks. I'm just a freaking mess. I just want to…put on a really great show."

"You always put on a great show. When has that changed?"

She laughed. "I know but this is the first time I get to do a big concert in front of the Champion and the guy I love. I want to make it really special…and now…f***! Those stupid Axem…"

"Rangers."

She looked up at him with a confused look. "They're called the Axem Rangers. There are five members, Red, Black, Green, Pink and Yellow. Except they were a bunch of characters from a videogame."

"Please don't tell me you think they stepped out of the—"

"Don't be silly Roxie. It's obviously a group of kids who are just interested in causing some trouble."

She sighed. "Or a bunch of sad sack adults with nothing better to do with their lives than f*** with Roxie! And Ethan for that matter!"

He rubbed his chin. "Yea, I mean if I were a gang of troublemakers, altering some of the strongest trainers in the region to your presence would be super dumb. You're asking to lose."

She pulled away. "Well…I need to get in contact with some people so we can get some stuff in and I figure—"

Before she could finish, his phone rang. He sighed but she gave him a quick kiss on the lips before hurrying off. That warm and fuzzy feeling he had went away pretty quick when he remembered he still had a job to do. "Hello."

"Ethan! What is going on here?"

"Iris, what are you talking about?"

Iris sighed. "Well you see, I was training up north here when I was attacked by some clown dressed like a yellow power ranger and he had a large axe! I swear the guy had a serious gut problem…I've never seen so much—"

"Did he call himself Axem Yellow?"

There was a bit of silence on the line. "B-but…aren't they from a videogame? I know that's where they came from."

"Yep."

"What, don't tell me you're saying they came from the videogame! That they literally stepped out of the TV—"

"I didn't say they came directly from the videogame, just that they are characters from a videogame. It's probably just a bunch of troublemakers dressed up like them. If they actually bring out a decked out airship that looks just like the Blade…I'm gonna get worried."

Iris grumbled. "What's worse is that he took some of my Pokemon! He didn't take them all thankfully but I didn't really have a choice because he had a big axe on him!"

"Did he also grumble about being—"

"Hungry? Yea he did! It was so weird…maybe that's why he got the drop on me, I couldn't believe what I just heard."

He laughed. "Well Axem Red got the drop on me too but I don't think they know how Pokeballs work much because I was able to fool him with some empty Pokeballs."

"I wish I thought of that. Dumbo Axem Rangers, this is like a bad dream. Like when I lost to your Hydregion."

"Sam is pretty tough—"

"I lost half of my team to him! And I still had Aries, Pitch and finally Wiggler to deal with. Oh…well if you were attacked by the Red Ranger then—"

"Homika was attacked by the black one, though it seemed he just wanted to cause trouble rather than steal something."

She sighed. "Then I guess…that still leaves the Pink and Green ones. Who would they attack though?"

"Well let's think about it. Well I remember the pink one was the girly girl of the group and into fashion so…."

"Well isn't that pretty obvious? It would have to be Elesa, she's the girly one…she's a model for crying out loud!" Iris said.

"Yea yea, you're right about that. Well that is pretty obvious but the green one will be tough."

She sighed. "I really don't remember anything about the green one, other than he was tall and skinny. He just kind of blended in with everyone else."

Ethan sat down on the cool grass next to Wiggler. "Well…maybe Skyla?"

"Since when does Skyla blend in?!"

"Looks aside, how does she stand out? Homika is a rock star, you're a former Champion and Dragon Tamer and Elesa is a famous model. And there's the whole laundry list of things I've accomplished, the least of which is being the current Champion of Unova."

"I'm not sure how you would call being the Champion the least of your accomplishments—"

He rolled his eyes. "Being the Champion is one thing but being called the scourge of Pokemon criminals is quite another. Besides, some Champion. He had to leave his own region to become the Champion, being too weak to take it on his home turf."

"You're just being dumb. You know how hard it is to become Champion? Some people never get the chance and look at you!"

He laughed. "I was just kind of poking fun at myself there. I am happy to be the Champion but it's annoying when people just gush over you so much. I'm used to having people ignore my accomplishments altogether so now having people gush…well you know."

Iris sighed. "I guess…I just want to be Champion again!"

"Stop losing to Sam! You're supposed to be the princess of all Dragon Tamers and yet you keep losing to a guy with a Wigglytuff," he said as he looked over at Wiggler, who beamed with pride.

"I told you, I never even get to him! I still think it's wrong you get to use two teams!"

"It's because Marshal decided to leave to do some more training…or whatever he wished to do. Since you didn't want to be part of the Elite Four, I asked if I could just use two teams to make up for it."

"Whatever! Well…like I said, we should get in contact with those two. Hopefully we can capture one of those Axem Ranger clowns."

"Well I'll try to get in contact with Skyla and you can talk to Elesa," he said. He heard Iris giggle and he frowned. "Now what?"

"Of course you would want to get in contact with—"

He hung up before she could finish and looked over at Wiggler. "She is such a pest."

Wiggler squeaked in agreement as he got to his feet. He saw Homika approach and he walked over to her. "Well thankfully we have back up instruments but it'll take about a couple of hours for them to bring it in."

"Well I think we may have figured out where the last two members of this little gang will strike."

"Oh?"

"Elesa and Skyla. I think. At least that's the conclusion Iris and me came to. Hopefully it's the right one."

She folded her arms and looked away. "Huh, you think? Well I hope you do catch those clowns. I really want to give that black one a piece of my mind!"

"You don't want to tag along?"

She looked at him with a smile. "Well thanks for inviting me along but I've got a concert to practice for! And I want it to be super good so you can go on without me."

Once upon a time, Homika would have tried to choke him for meeting with Skyla. Well maybe not choke but she was super paranoid that he was just gonna slobber all over her or something. Perhaps being stuck in exile on Hoehn for a few months, doing absolutely nothing except that awesome little trip to Dino Island had to calm down…or something. Speaking of Hoehn…

"Ethan!"

Wiggler let out a squeak and he turned to see Lyra hurrying toward him. He winced as she ran up to him with a hug, almost fainting from her strong perfume. "Oh…hi Lyra."

She pulled away from him and winked at him. "Hey, what do you think of my outfit? I designed it myself!"

She pulled on her white strapless dress, which had several Pokeballs on the front, each made up of sparkly…uhh something. Every time she turned around, he thought would get blinded from the sun reflecting off the parts of her dress. "I…I'm not the right person to ask."

She pointed her finger at his chest. "Of course you are. You're a guy, aren't you?"

"Yes I'm a guy but what do I know about fashion? Go ask Elesa!"

She grasped his hands. "I'm just asking if you think it looks pretty!"

He pulled his hands away. "Well…it's a bit shiny."

She sighed. "You think so? That's what Crystal said, she said it was way too shiny and distracting."

"Well it is a bit distracting and…blinding."

Lyra sighed. "Drat, drat drat. Oh well, I have so many other ideas! Will you let me model for you?"

He rolled his eyes. "Why don't you model for someone else? Why does it have to be me?"

"Because…it has to be you. You're the one who will give me the opinions I need. You're honest—"

"Elesa will be able to help you out more. She's a model, she's into fashion—"

"I need the opinion of a boy!"

He looked away. "But there are so many guys out there—"

"I meant I need your opinion. You're the one who encouraged me to chase my dream of becoming a clothes designer, the least you could do is support me!"

He sighed. "Look I understand encouraging you to become a clothes designer but people are going to take it the wrong way—"

She wrapped her arm around his shoulder. "Huh, no one has to know Ethan. It'll be just between the two of us. I could…really use your help. Like I said, you're a guy and you know me pretty well…and you'll be willing to give me the honest answers I need."

Suddenly he felt a hand slip in between the two of them. With a deal of force, May suddenly slipped in between the two of them, separating the ever-clingy Lyra from his shoulders. She put her hands on her hips. "Hey…Homika won't like that very much!"

Lyra stumbled back a few. "H-huh?"

He sighed. What a waste of time. "I already said Homika won't like you being so close to him!"

Lyra dusted herself off. "Umm okay? Who are you supposed to be?"

"May! I'm…May, aren't I?" She asked as she looked at him.

"Uh yea?"

"See, I'm May!"

Lyra rubbed the back of her head. "Ethan…why is it every time I turn around, there are more girls coming out of the woodwork? At first I thought I was competing with just my cousin and then it was Jasmine, and then Candice and then—"

"I think you're just blowing things out of proportion Lyra. And competing with Crystal? She never had a crush—"

Lyra leaned forward. "Oh yes she did, I just had the bigger one!"

May looked at him and then at Lyra. "What?"

"So where did you pick her up from?"

May held up her hand with the bracelet made of leaves and vines. "Dino Island! And E didn't pick me up, he chose me!"

Lyra looked at him with a confused look. "What?"

May intertwined her fingers. "Umm how does it go? Two become one or…uhh…"

As May tried to explain it to poor Lyra, a shadow grew over them. He and Wiggler looked up in time to see the…Pink Axem Ranger? He rushed forward and shoved the two of them out of the way as she landed on the ground with her axe. He tumbled to the ground but was back to his feet in an instant. Axem Pink spun her axe around like a cheerleader would with a baton and blew a kiss in his direction.

"Get in line lady, you aren't the first," he said.

"At least you're nice enough to call me that."

"Who is this? Why is her outfit so horrible? Lyra asked.

Axem Ping slammed her axe down on the ground. "Horrible? Look at it, it's sleek, well designed and leaves me with just the right amount of protection. Plus it's super flexible, which is important—"

"The colors are all wrong, the pink is too bright, the gold plating on the shoulders looks gaudy and doesn't match and the helmet is so…so…last decade."

"Says the girl with a dress that would blind a blind man!"

"Huh? Is that possible?" May asked him. He shook his head.

"It's just an exaggeration."

Lyra stuck out her finger. "Hey hey, this dress has gotten rave reviews. Ethan even said so himself."

"I didn't say—ow!" He said as she elbowed him in the side. That hurt!

"I don't think your boyfriend is exactly a great judge of talent. He's supposed to say the nice things."

"He's not her boyfr—"

"Hey, you're just trying to change the subject!" Lyra yelled.

"I thought you were going to attack Elesa," he said. Axem Pink winked at him and he grumbled.

"Attack Elesa? What gave you that idea?"

"Well you're into fashion and stuff so I thought—"

"Ethan…why was Elesa the first one you thought when it came to fashion?" Lyra asked in a whiny voice.

"Uh oh, looks like I've interrupted a domestic argument—"

"H-hey, he's not my…umm…well…well he is that but we aren't having a domestic argument—"

"Domestic what?" May asked as Lyra and Axem Pink continued to argue amongst themselves.

"She means an argument between couples or husband and wife. Except me and Lyra aren't a couple…at all," he said with emphasis on the not a couple part.

"Either way, you're a horrible fashion designer but I'm not here to critique your horrible, terrible, no good sense of fashion but I'm here for your Pokemon!"

He sighed. "Thank you, at least you got to the point. Too bad you don't have chance of getting away, you're surrounded."

"Surrounded you say? Oh what do I do? Oh I know!" Axem Pink said before tossing out a small pink ball. It suddenly blew up in a bright flash of light and…sparkles? It took several minutes for the light to dissipate and his vision to return to somewhat normal but by the time it did, she was gone. The area was covered in a bunch of sparkles even and he had to spit some out of his mouth as he chuckled.

"Well I have to give her that. That was a pretty slick move."

"Ewww, I'm covered in sparkles," Lyra said.

"Aren't you…already sparkly?" May asked. Lyra shrugged.

"Though…that does give me an idea for a new perfume I could come up with!"

She suddenly gasped and began to search her dress. "What's wrong?"

"My…Pokeball is gone? What happened to Meganium?"

He folded his arms. "My guess is that she stole it while we were recovering from her attack. Again, it was kind of a slick move."

"Why are you complimenting her? She just stole my beloved Pokemon; the one Professor Elm gave me! The only Pokemon—"

He held up his hands for her to stop. "Okay, we get it. I know Meganium is precious to you and we'll get her back…eventually."

Lyra folded her arms. "This stinks. What are they trying to pull?"

"Your guess is as good as mine but there's still one more Ranger."

May frowned. "How do you know that?"

"I think these Axem Rangers are a bunch of kids, or adults dressed up as a gang of characters from a videogame. So far they have attacked people who seemed to be similar to their personalities, the leader Axem Red attacked me while Axem Black went after Homika. Axem Yellow got to Iris and now we have the pink one with Lyra. The only ranger left is the green one."

Lyra's eyes grew wide. "You mean they all wear such tacky outfits? Do you think they'll let redesign their outfits while they cool their heels in jail? I bet I could—"

"What's with you and clothes?" May asked. Lyra shot her a look.

"Because it seems everyone around here has such terrible taste in clothes. I mean, what are you wearing? A skullcap? A bright red outfit…and why aren't you wearing anything underneath it?! Do you know how bad that looks? Ethan…why haven't you said anything?"

He shrugged. "May…lived in a jungle with Pokemon for most of her life. She's just now getting used to wearing clothes—"

"Ethan, I thought you were better than this."

"Huh?"

Lyra folded her arms. "You never struck me as the type who would enjoy ogling a girl—"

"Ethan is used to me! He doesn't have to stare!"

"Used to?"

"Besides all those…things you have to wear underneath are so itchy and…tight…I hate them."

"Can we forget about May's clothing? Or lack of clothes? We need to find that last Ranger."

Lyra put a hand on her hip. "Okay so what is the green Ranger like?"

"Well he's tall…and green. That's all I got really. I was thinking maybe it was Skyla but the Green Axem Ranger sort of blended into the background—"

"Yea and Skyla doesn't blend in anywhere."

He sighed. "And I thought the Pink Ranger would attack Elesa so I was wrong about that. So there's a chance I might be wrong about who the Green Ranger will attack and I'll have to come up with some new guesses."

Lyra snapped her fingers. "Oh right! I forgot that someone from Johto wanted to meet the new Champion!"

"Who?"

"Silver! He was pretty shocked that you actually became the Champion of some region. He thought it was impossible."

"Silver is a jerk."

She winked. "Of course he's a jerk, that's what he is! Though, I don't know where he wandered off. I think he went to the airport here. Maybe he wants to meet with Skyla! Imagine that, Silver with a girl!"

"Silver?" May asked.

"He's a trainer from Johto. He used to be a giant jerk that mistreated Pokemon and even stole his first Pokemon from Professor Elm. He eventually mellowed out and often fills in for Jasmine when she's away from her gym."

May nodded. "Oh, really?"

"I guess you could say he was like my rival…even though my real rival was Crystal—"

"Can it be called a rivalry when she beat you most of the time?" Lyra asked. He shot her a wounded look and she sighed. "Okay, I'm sorry. That was a low blow E."

"So he's here in town?"

Lyra nodded. "Yep! He came here with me…well I guess I dragged him here. He didn't believe me when I told him that you not only were cleared of those absolutely stupid charges but you took on the Champion and won! So I dragged him out here so he could see for himself!"

"Well let's go see him then."

By the time they got over to the airport, they found Skyla toiling away in the engine of a red biplane with a Braviary painted on the tail. The wings were painted with the matching feathers and he could only imagine how proud Pitch would be. Too bad much of the red paint was chipped or faded, like Skyla had dragged it out of a dump an hour ago. He knocked on the side of it and she looked up from the engine, some oil on her face. "Oh hey Ethan! What do you think of her? I bought her off of an old pilot. He said he flew it in the war."

"What war? The war of terrible, horrible, no good designs? I mean…look at that paint job! I mean who would want to paint an airplane with such a bright color?"

"Lyra, what do you know about machines?"

She put her hands on her hips. "I know about colors and what goes with what."

"That may apply to clothes but—"

"Ethan man…is there anyway for you to shut her up?"

Silver walked around from the other side and Lyra grumbled. "About time you showed your ugly face Silver."

He shrugged. "Whatever."

Ethan reached into his pocket and pulled out the badge signifying his position as Champion. "So now do you believe it?"

He took it and looked it over. "I guess I have to. I figure you would just be forever known as Mr. Runner up or Eternal Second Place."

He snatched it back. "If it wasn't for Crystal, I'm sure I would have already been the Champion."

Silver shrugged. "Probably. Crystal is a piece of work. Never have I met anyone so obsessed with staying on top and becoming the toughest trainer around. No one can topple her."

"She's leveled out but…she is still very competitive."

"That's just you being nice…again," he said. What was with him and her? Anytime he brought up Silver to her, Crystal got angry and annoyed while Silver seemed to be the same way. Lyra giggled.

"Oh Silver. You should just ask her out. I'm sure she would love it."

"No."

"Maybe I should tell Ethan about what happened between the two of you at the Radio Tower?"

Silver turned pale and pointed a finger at her. "Don't you dare mention that!"

"What happened?"

"Never mind that!" Silver yelled. He adjusted his collar. "Besides, what happened to you and Jasmine? I thought you two were like close and now the two of you don't seem to talk that much anymore."

"Homika happened," Lyra said with great annoyance. "She's so bossy. She doesn't let him do anything."

"That isn't true—"

"I knew you would end up henpecked," Silver said and he shot him a look.

"I'm not henpecked. We just don't talk much because…Homika still isn't the biggest fan of Jasmine. Even after spending more time with her…"

"So you are henpecked—"

"I'm not henpecked!"

Lyra giggled. "He kind of is. He might be the greatest enemy to Pokemon criminals everywhere but he's putty to girls. Why do you think your little relationship with Homika has been so rocky?"

He wanted to counter that but was finding it pretty hard to point out where she was wrong. "I figured."

"Oh well…rock stars never stick with one partner for very long. The relationship will die out, she'll move on and I'll finally have my chance!"

May shook her head and Silver could only do the same. "I see delusion is still a big hobby of yours—"

"Watch me! I'll mellow out…it just takes time!"

Skyla finally spoke up. "You three are hilarious."

A shadow formed over the plane and he remembered the last time that happened. He rushed past the others and pulled Skyla away. Just in time too because the Green Axem Ranger dove out of nowhere and smashed his axe through the plane's engine. Just what kind of axe did this guy have? He spun the axe around several times and pounded his chest. "Axem Green, reporting for duty!"


	2. May Day

"Axem what?"

"Axem Green."

"That outfit is awful. Who's your tailor and can I tell them what an awful job they're doing?"

"It's about as well designed as your outfits—"

"I said I am Axem Green and I'm reporting for duty!" He yelled as he swung his axe around, causing all of them to step back.

Ethan got to his feet and chuckled. "Axem Green huh? Just who are you reporting to duty?"

He swung his axe around a few more times. "Quiet! How about you show some respect for your would be conquerors?"

Silver groaned. "Conquerors of what exactly?"

"This region! Unova is the first stop on our road to global domination!"

"You guys never struck me as the type to conquer the world."

Axem Green sighed. "We actually need money so we can rebuild the Blade."

Silver looked at him with a confused look. "The Blade, what's that supposed to be?"

"It's their massive airship they used to travel around and cause trouble," Ethan said.

"So…why not just give them the money so they and…their gaudy outfits can take a hike?"

He stomped his foot. "I'm not going to give money to criminals! Didn't you just hear me?"

"Would you stop ignoring me?!" Axem Green said as he swung his axe at them. "I am Axem Green, member of the Axem Rangers and I will make you pay for your ignorance."

Everyone looked at him with confused looks. "Who are the Axem Rangers?"

"A bunch of Power Ranger wannabes who came from a videogame. They were minions of a guy named Smithy who wanted to make weapons. Lots and lots of weapons."

"Yes, and it's terrible our boss was defeated-"

"Hold up! Don't tell me you are actually from the videogame. That doesn't make any sense! Besides, you were destroyed in the end so how could you come back in the first place?"

"Our origins are known only to us—"

"Which means you guys are just full of it," he said. He shook his head. "This is stupid anyway. Why don't you just go back to the rock you crawled out from under and leave us alone? I was liking the peace and quiet."

He pointed his axe in Ethan's direction. "Not until we get what we want! Until then you can expect more wanton destruction and mischief—"

"So you'll act like bratty children and throw a temper tantrum until you get your way? Got you," Silver said.

"And on another note, just why did you target the people you did? The only reason I can see is targeting people similar to your personalities but…uhh…that still doesn't explain why."

"Our reasons are too vast to comprehend—"

"So you're still full of it," Ethan said. Axem Green shook a fist in his direction and hopped onto the plane. He hopped down, swinging his axe down with him, damaging the plane further. He continued his assault until soon the plane was nothing but a pile of wreckage.

"You know, that was gonna turn out to be a radical looking plane until you smashed it up."

"I warned you, didn't I? If you don't allow us to get the money to rebuild the Blade, this is what your precious Unova will look like!"

"I think you guys have your work cut out for you. Wiggler, could you do something about this guy?"

As Wiggler bounced over, suddenly the four other Axem Rangers appeared, causing him to stop dead in his tracks. "Wow, their outfits are even worse than I imagined. The colors are so bright and—"

"Ethan, since you're the Champion, I'll deliver this message to you. If you and the rest of Unova do not give into our demands and give us the money to rebuild the Blade, Unova will pay!"

"Why would I give you the money to rebuild your airship? What do you even want to do with it?"

Axem Red raised his fist. "What do you expect us to do with it? We will return to Mushroom Kingdom and get our revenge for the defeat of Smithy and his gang!"

"Smithy? Mushroom Kingdom? What?" May asked but he waved her off. Were these guys serious? They couldn't really have come from the videogame…could they? Nope nope, nope!

"That's not a good reason at all!"

"We don't have time for this. All I'm saying is that if you do not give in to our demands, Unova will pay. We will blanket Unova in a poorly knitted blanket…of fear!"

"I bet you've been waiting all day to say that one," Silver said.

Ethan cast an eye toward him. "I think you're giving them too much credit."

"Are you even listening? Fine, don't heed our warning!" He said as the five of them vanished. Ethan shook his head and folded his arms. Now what?

"Ethan…we can't just let those fashion failures run havoc on Unova!"

"Who is Smithy? What is Mushroom Kingdom?"

Silver shook his head. "I think they're all pretty messed up in the head, if you ask me—"

"Yea well no one asked you," Lyra said.

"Stop it, both of you. Well I'm not going to give into their demands, which would be silly. I'm a bit worried about how they plan to blanket Unova in a…well you know. I wonder if they'll just commit random acts of violence?"

"Well that would be one way to get people unnerved. They are still trying to recover from the menace of Team Rocket."

"The menace of…Team Rocket came back?" Silver asked.

"Uh, duh! Where have you been at Silver, living under a rock?"

"Taking care of the Olivine City Gym, thank you very much!" He said.

"Team Rocket did come back and it seems they were trying to take over with a bunch of altered Pokemon, in the same vein as Mewtwo. We were finally able to chase them out after a big struggle."

"Well actually…yea I think that about sums it up!" Lyra said. "Oh and Ethan got tricked into joining and then got all the blame thanks to Giovanni so he had to stay in hiding until his name cleared."

At the mention of Giovanni, Silver's face twisted just a bit, as if trying to control the rage he felt for that name. Man Lyra…could you just shut up for once? "S-so…I think I'll let everyone know to be on the lookout for those guys. We can't let Unova fall into a state of fear like that. Way too soon for that stuff again."

"Where is Giovanni?" Silver asked.

"Probably cooling his heels in jail—" She began to say before Silver stomped off. She watched him leave and looked at him. "What's with him now?"

"It's a long story. Well I guess—hey!" He said as Lyra walked over and snatched his cap off his head. She looked it over and dropped it.

"Ewww! Eww eww eww…ewww! That thing is filthy!"

"I just washed it and why are you taking my hat away? Give me that back!"

She picked it up and held it away from her body. "This thing is disgusting E! How long have you this hat?"

"I've had it for awhile, now give me it—"

"No way, I'm burning it! You can't wear this anymore, it's filthy! I'll make you a better one!"

"It's gonna sparkle!" He said. He grabbed for the hat but she pulled it away from his grasp.

"It won't sparkle, I promise! It'll look fitting of a Champion. Much better than an old hat that should have been burned years ago."

He tapped his head. "But it feels weird without a hat. I can't go around without a hat."

She waved him off. "Oh you'll live E. Trust me, the hat I have prepared for you…it'll be just great. You will love it."

She left as well and he let out a loud grumble. Skyla sat on the wreckage of the plane. "Well it was gonna be an awesome plane."

"Don't worry, I'll make it up to—"

"M-make it up to me? You're pretty funny. You didn't do anything to cause it to be destroyed. It's the Axem Rangers' fault'."

He nodded. "I know but I almost feel if it was my fault."

"What?" May asked. "How is what they did…your fault?"

He folded his arms and chuckled. "Its well…how do I explain this? I guess it's because of my reputation. I've got one for being tough on crime and helping to take down a bunch of notorious Pokemon gangs. I was thinking that maybe that attracts a lot of unwanted attention as well. That others see what I've done and they think they could earn a lot of rep by taking me down—"

"Stop thinking so much! You always think too much! Isn't that what got you in trouble last time?" May yelled.

"What she said," Skyla said with a laugh. "I wonder…how do you think those guys are getting around?"

"Looks like that could be something you might try tracking down for us. I know they don't have their usual airship but I figure they must have something that lets them get around. You got all the fancy radar here so…well you might be able to come with something."

"Right o boss!"

"I'm not the boss though—"

"Well I don't know…who's the Champion of Unova?" She asked, cocking her head to the side.

"Well…me."

"And last I checked, the Champion is pretty much head of the gym leaders. Or at least he or she carries a lot of clout in the region."

He nodded. "Yea…"

"So then wouldn't it make sense to kind of consider you like the boss? You're the single most powerful trainer in Unova; a lot of people kind of depend on you. They see you as the first line of defense against whatever troublemakers come their way. Though, aren't you used to that by now?"

He laughed. "Well I'm not used to being the first line of defense—"

"But you have a really stellar way of finding troublemakers. And I think the opposite is true. I bet you being around scares off a bunch of criminals. Why my friend in Hoehn told me that a couple of Pokemon gangs went into hiding while you were in Hoehn. As soon as you left, out they came."

"Hmm…I guess."

Later on that day, he was back at Homika's trailer…or rather one of her larger trailers, which had several beds, a large entertainment room and even a large spa. It dawned on him that…he had never seen where she actually lived. Did she just live in these trailers? Seems like he would have been in on the know, she knew where he lived in Johto. Wasn't much, pretty modest but at least it wasn't a trailer. He laid out on one of the beds, staring up at the ceiling. "Ugh…what do you think Wiggler?"

Wiggler let out a confused squeak and he chuckled. "I mean…where do you think the Axem Rangers would strike next? I've been racking my brain for hours but I can't seem to think of anything."

Wiggler didn't seem to have an answer either. He grumbled and rolled over on his side. What made it worse is that…he was the Champion. Like Skyla said, people were counting on him now. It was a bit different when he was just a regular trainer, no one really expected him to step in, though they weren't surprised when he did. Now he was expected to do it. He heard the door open, interrupting his thoughts and he sort of felt glad about it. To his surprise it wasn't Homika who stepped in but May. She looked around before noticing him. "Oh hi E! Is this where you've been hiding?"

"Well not hiding—"

Wiggler let out a squeak of disagreement and she giggled. "He said you are hiding."

He rolled over and shot Wiggler a look. "Well…maybe I am."

She closed the door behind her and locked it. "Finally, I can get out of these dumb clothes."

Wiggler let out a terrified squeak as she pulled off her top and he shrugged. What was Wiggler freaking out about? "You act like this is the first time this has happened."

Wiggler squeaked. "What? I'm not some sort of pervert!"

May grumbled. "I'm his partner, remember? He got that flower from the dangerous cliffs and presented it to me after that!"

Ignoring the part where he got tricked into that because Koopa had no interest in having a human partner but he had decided to take responsibility anyway. It hadn't been so bad…aside from convincing her to wear clothes in public. That had taken some time to explain and get her to agree to but once they said she could go with less clothing in private, she seemed to accept the deal. Which is why he wasn't sure why Wiggler was still confused by it. "Yes, partner."

"Do you guys have another word for it here?"

"Yea, wife but still haven't gotten to explaining that to…well a lot of people so partner works for now."

May stretched out her arms. "People keep giving me odd looks, especially boys. They just stare."

"Well you aren't wearing any…underwear. Things…tend to show…"

May looked at her somewhat impressive chest. "So…what? They never seen a girl before?"

He felt like laughing. Oh May, would you ever get used to the norms of life? "They have…a lot but most guys aren't used to seeing a girl wear clothes like that…in public. Most girls wouldn't be caught dead wearing the bear minimum like you do. And most guys…if they see a pretty girl and she isn't wearing much, well they will stare."

She walked over to one of the windows and closed the blinds. "And you just blushed and looked away."

"Well yea, it's rude! I mean it's okay now since I'm used to it and you're my partner and all."

May sat down on the edge of the bed. "So why were you hiding?"

"I was thinking?"

"Oh about those Axe…I mean Axely…or was it—"

"Axem Rangers," he said as he moved over a bit. "They're a gang of Power Ranger wannabes that came from a videogame. Obviously I don't think they stepped out of the videogame—"

"Why not?" She asked as she lay down next to him. "There are so many mystical Pokemon, right? On Dino Island, we had a Pokemon that could cause volcanoes to erupt and drought. It's greatest rival is a…well I think it's some sort of whale and it causes powerful storms, hurricanes and monsoons."

He felt like arguing but it just caused him to think of some of the legendary Pokemon from Sinnoh. Wasn't Palkia the Pokemon of Space? Would it really be that outlandish to believe? If Charon could use Arceus to change the entire world, couldn't Palkia drag some characters out of a videogame and make them real? "Yea but…"

"I don't understand how you would drag people out of a TV. How do you even get people in those things anyway? Do they shrink people in it or—"

"I'll explain it one day."

She reached over and grabbed his arm before draping it over her warm body and across her chest. He froze up as he fingers fell on her breasts. Darn it May, if you were cold, why not grab a blanket? "Are you going to relax?"

"Well…I would be a lot more calmer if you weren't draping my arm across your naked chest."

"But all Shamizard mates cuddle together like this. It's how they bond and shows who belongs to whom. Don't people do that too?"

"Ahh well…people usually don't have to go that far to show others that. Usually a word or two is enough—"

She pulled him a bit closer. "You know what? You're like Iggy…one of the…what do you call them again?"

"You mean the Shamizards?"

"Shaman…I mean Shamo…well them! He's one of the smarter guys in the village, the one who comes up with all the big plans, the whatchamacallits …but he was a big worrier. He would worry about this little thing or that big thing…or that not so big thing. Worry, worry and worry some more just so he could worry about worrying about why he was worrying about something to worry about!"

"W-what?"

"Stop worrying! I thought you said these guys were supposed to be a joke! If they're a joke…doesn't that mean—"

"Well I do think they're a joke but I can't take them lightly either."

"Worry."

He tried to pull his arm away but she wouldn't have any of it. Well she could move the hand to other places so he would just have to live. "I'm not worrying. I just want to be cautious. I don't want to look like—"

"Worry."

"May would you stop that?"

"Then stop worrying so much! You are E. You beat Team Rocket…Team Gally—"

"Galactic."

"Yea those people. Then you beat Team Rocket again! And you're worried about five people dressed like the rainbow."

Ugh…she kind of had a point there. While he was so busy worrying about the Axem Rangers, he had forgotten that he had taken out a lot of Pokemon criminals, time and time again. Team Rocket had posed a serious threat to the world with their gang of super Pokemon, Charon and Team Galactic had successfully remade the world and…he was worried about four guys and a girl, armed with axes? Maybe instead of worrying, he should just take care of business so things could go back to normal? He sighed. "This would be so much easier—"

"Worry."

"May…if you don't want me to worry, then what?"

"You're my partner…and I want my partner to be comfortable with me. You become cold and hard like a rock…you fall over your tongue…you don't—"

"I'm still getting used to you. And you're still getting used to me. That…kind of thing happens."

She tugged on his arm a tad. "Then get used to me. You want me to get used to…umm people but you have to get used to me."

"Okay…so other than holding you…how does the Shamizard get closer to each other? Spending time together?"

"Fighting each other to see who is the best. Walking the path of death. Sharing blood with each other. Mating. Sharing things."

"Uh…walk the path of death?"

She turned over to face him, touching noses. A mischievous smile appeared on her face. "Yes…it's in the volcano. A long narrow road where you must walk over hot coals, dodge the lava rocks, scale the cliffs and then earn the trust of Groudon."

"That…sounds terrifying."

She frowned. "Terrifying for the man who takes on Pokemon bad guys?"

"Well I guess you have a point there."

"We should go back and do it together. All members of the village do it. I've always wanted to do it but I never had a partner to do it with. Now—"

The door to the trailer burst open and May sat up, pulling him up with her. She covered her chest with his arm but somehow he didn't think it was because she was afraid of being seen. "Ethan…where the f*** are you?" Homika yelled. She turned around and saw the two of them before grumbling. "I leave you alone for just a minute and—"

"Didn't you two say that in private, I could stop wearing clothes?"

"Lock the door!"

He cleared his throat. "She did lock it. You just kicked it in!"

Homika looked over at the door. "Oh…it was locked."

"Do I have to put on a shirt now?"

"Yes!"

She looked around, ignoring her shirt that lay off to the side before she turned to him and pulled the shirt off his shirt and put it on. "Hey, I need that!"

"Why is it that he can go around with no shirt but I can't?"

"We've…been over this you…look, here's your shirt right here! Give Ethan his shirt back so—"

"Can't he wear my shirt? We bought it from the boy's section, didn't we?"

"He can't…well he might be able to fit it now that I think about it."

"Now wait just a minute…I like my shirt. It's bad enough Lyra took my hat away, now you'll rob me of my shirt?"

May rolled her eyes. "Sharing."

Homika shook her head. "Anyway Ethan, I was looking for you to ask what's next?"

"Well Unova is a pretty big region, with more people than any other region. It's gonna be hard to comb the entire region looking for them so our best bet is to alert everyone, which I did and catch them in the act."

Her eyes grew wide. "That's it?"

"Well…did you look at them?"

"They do look like the rainbow," May said as she tossed her shirt at him to wear.

"Yea…if they do show up, everyone will notice them quick—"

"What if they aren't total dopes and try to disguise themselves?" Homika asked.

"Well if they do that…I'm not worried. Even if they disguise themselves, I'm sure they'll still identify themselves with the color of their uniform," he said as he put May's shirt on, which was a bit looser than he imagined. "They said they want to cast a blanket of fear over Unova…it would sort of defeat the purpose if they don't go out in full costume."

She sighed. "F*** we just dealt with Team Rocket and now these f******! Can't they leave well enough alone? What's the big deal?"

"Who knows?"

"I just want those b******* gone before the concert. I don't want them crashing it. Remember what happened the last time someone crashed it?"

His phone began to ring and Wiggler bounced over to get it. He tossed it at him and he barely caught it as May giggled. Yea yea. "Hello?"

"Oh hey boss! Listen, I don't have a lot of time but I think I found something really really awesome. Or suspicious."

"What is it Skyla?"

She chuckled. "Well you know how you asked me to look around for anything suspicious? Well I sort of found something in the northwestern part of Unova. It doesn't look like any sort of airplane or helicopter still being used."

"So…what is it?"

"It appears to be some sort of airship, or perhaps a blimp. It could also be a hot air balloon. It's tough to tell from the shape but it is not an airplane or helicopter."

He smiled. "Huh…well it's something. Does anyone in Unova have something like that?"

She burst out in laughter. "Are you kidding? A bunch of Pokemon sees those things floating around and tries to test to see how strong the material is which holds the helium. And…quite a few have failed the test so no one bothers anymore."

He nodded and rubbed his chin. "And you said it's in the northwest?"

"Yep, hiding in the woods northwest of Mistralton."

"Well I guess I'll have to go check it out, thanks!"

He hung up a bit afterwards and looked at the two of them. "So?"

"Skyla said she found a suspicious looking aircraft to the northwest of Mistralton. I said I would check it out. I guess I could have let her do it but she's keeping an eye on the skies for us anyway."

"Oooh, sounds like we get to sneak around!"

He laughed. "I don't know about that but it looks like it's something we have to check out. Are you coming Roxie?"

"Yea…f*** sure. I'm sort of tired of practicing so much anyway. I need a break in the routine."

May frowned. "You don't seem real happy."

"We're following a f****** lead. It's not like we're catching those b*******!"

He sighed. "She was just making a comment. I understand you're nervous and a bit on the edge because of their attack and the concert but we don't need to be attacking each other."

She folded her arms and looked away. "Yea yea…I'm just…urgh, I'm a f****** nervous wreck!"

"I know…and stop it!"

"You two both worry too much."

May pushed a large branch aside and looked around like a dog on the hunt. "I don't see it."

"Are you sure Skyla said it was around here?"

He nodded. "Yep, she said it was similar to a blimp or a hot air balloon."

Homika threw up her hands. "But we've searched this entire area, several f****** times! And nothing! Not a d*** thing!"

There was that little issue. If it was as big as Skyla said, they would have found it by now but they had already been out for hours and no dice. May stood up straight and put a hand on her hip. "We like walking in circles."

"Uh, no."

"Roxie, that was a joke," he said. He sat down on a nearby rock and folded his arms. "Well let's just think about this for a second. I trust Skyla's judgment, if her radar found something here, it has to be around here."

"If it was around here, why can't we see it? If it's big, there is no way we could miss it."

"I have an idea! Let's sniff for it!"

They looked at her and May suddenly got to the ground on all fours and began to sniff the ground like a dog. Wiggler let out a squeak of…confusion and he was a bit stunned too. She crawled around a bit before she looked up at him, some dirt on her nose. "I think I smell something…this way!" She said as she pointed off in a direction. She got back down on all fours and crawled along, still sniffing at the ground.

"Are you f****** kidding me?"

He finally snapped to attention. "Ahhh well…I guess that works too?"

"You…you guess that works too? Look at her! She's on all fours, a** in the air and acting like a f****** Growlithe and you say that works too?"

He looked over at the visibly red Homika and laughed. "Well I mean…"

"Weren't we trying to get her to act more like a human? And now you want to encourage her to not…"

"Roxie…she was raised by Pokemon for years and years. She isn't going to transform overnight. It takes time…she may never become fully trained but she's already come a decent way."

Roxie pointed in the direction May had crawled away. "She is on all fours like an animal. We have to really struggle to convince her to stay in clothes or at least something that keeps most of her body covered and…"

"Would you calm down? Why does it matter to you?"

She pointed a finger in his face. "Because…"

He pushed her finger away. "I'll deal with her so stop griping about it. What happened to the nicer and kinder Roxie?"

She folded her arms. "That Roxie doesn't have to deal with a wild girl pretending to be a regular girl."

He followed close behind May while Homika lagged behind, as usual. The only thing he could think was that he was glad May hadn't been around for Homika's tongue-lashing. She seemed like a tough girl but he wasn't sure if she would know how to deal with Homika's sharp tongue. May lead them to a large clearing, one that had been to before and he looked up at the coniferous treetops. "May…we've been here. We even flung rocks in the air to see if it was cloaked…nothing."

She sat up on her knees and wiped the dirt off her nose. "But I smell some gas around here. It has to be around here."

Wiggler let out a squeak and he looked over at him. "Huh…well that's an idea too. Yea, see if you can fire an attack up in the air. Maybe it's a bit higher than we thought."

He bounced forward and heard May clear her throat. He looked over at her. "Ummm…did I get you in trouble with Mika?"

"What do you mean?"

She looked down at the ground. "I overheard you guys arguing about me."

"Oh…that? Haha. You didn't get me in trouble. Don't mind Homika…she has a strong opinion on a lot of things and she can be sort of mean spirited."

She seemed to perk up. "Oh? So you aren't in trouble?"

He put his hand on her head. "Of course not. It was just…kind of strange watching you do that."

"Oh…yea! I'm sorry…I know I'm not supposed to move around like that but I couldn't think of any other way to sniff the dirt for anything. I kind of have to be like that."

He sighed. "You don't have to do that. Humans don't have great noses—"

"But I do! How else was I able to smell that gas?"

"Ahh well…gas is a strong…never mind. Good job May! It's good we can depend on your senses like that."

She cocked her head to the side. "Even if I don't act like a…normal girl sometimes?"

"Sure."

"Good."

Wiggler let out a squeak as he used Aura Sphere to launch an attack up into the air, in hopes of hitting something. The large sphere of yellow energy traveled up in the air for quite a length of time but eventually it exploded in a bright flash of light as it came in contact with something. Soon a large rainbow colored hot air balloon appeared high above their heads. "Oh…wow…I guess that's the aircraft."

"How did they all fit in that thing?"

"Hey Wiggler bring that thing down…permanently!" He yelled before looking at them. "Well they won't be riding in it now!"


	3. The Revenge of Axem?

"Axem Rangers assemble!" Axem Red at the top of his lungs. In a matter of a few minutes, the other four members has assembled, though some faster than the others. The last happened to be Axem Yellow, who arrived with an armful of pizza, including two in his mouth. Axem Green shot him a look.

"Hey, that better not be the remainder of our pizza!"

"So what if it is? You're a vegetarian right? This has meat on it!"

Axem Green stomped his foot. "That's not the point! The point is about you eating us out of house and home! No wonder we can't afford another balloon—"

"Hey hey, what do you mean by that Greenie?" Axem Black said. Axem Green shook his head.

"It's just like I said Black—we can't afford another hot air balloon thanks to this guy."

He set his axe down. "Why do we need one anyway?"

"Uh, it was destroyed!" Axem Pink yelled. Axem Black slammed his fist on the table before them.

"Darn it, how did this happen?"

"Our boss warned us that the Champion here is formidable. He already found where our balloon was hidden and destroyed it," Axem Red said.

"He wouldn't be an issue if these axes of ours weren't nothing more than hard plastic! I mean, we're the freaking Axem Rangers! The Mushroom Kingdom trembled in our power and now—"

"I'm sure he had his reasons. Just be glad that we were brought here. We can get back to helping Smithy once we get the Blade."

Axem Black waved him off. "With plastic toys?"

They heard a throat clear and turned to see a light turn on over a large shiny wooden desk. A small and cheap looking lamp sat in one corner and an old computer monitor on the other side. Obviously this wasn't what you would call a permanent hideout spot. Behind the desk lay a large black chair, with the back turned to them. "I didn't ask you five here to listen to your silly arguments."

"Then what did you call us here for? This better be good! And why did you stick us with plastic toys?" Axem Black yelled.

"Do you think I would arm potentially dangerous people with real weapons, in the off chance they could turn on me and use those very weapons against me?"

Axem Red shot Black a knowing look. He folded his arms. "Fair enough but are you working with Smithy?"

"No."

Axem Black grumbled. "So then why are we here?"

"Because both of us can help each other. You five…you were defeated by some chubby red plumber and his band of misfits and your airship were destroyed. I was once defeated by the current Pokemon Champion of Unova, Ethan."

Axem Black shrugged. "I don't see how you're helping us."

The man sighed. "Do you even know what happened to you after the battle?"

Black laughed. "Well we crashed and everything went dark…don't remember much after that—"

"Let me educate you…all of you were dead. That's why you don't remember anything, because you bought the farm. There was no longer any Axem Rangers just only memories."

The five Rangers looked amongst themselves. It did sound crazy but to be fair, they hadn't remembered anything else after that. So how did this guy just bring them back? Red frowned. "So you have that power?"

The man laughed again. "Something like that. I only merely went back in time, before you were killed and brought you here…for a job."

"Which is to deal with this guy Ethan."

"Now you're getting the picture—"

"Hold the hell up man! Red's plan…as dumb as it can be would have netted us the money for the Blade eventually. Why do we have to work with you?"

"Well if it's true that I brought you here, it's just as easy for me to take you out as well."

Red shook his head. If this guy was telling the truth, it wouldn't be such a hot idea to take him on. "I understand that but—"

"Your plan if I had this correctly, involved taking on the strongest trainer in the region, perhaps one of the strongest in the world and a bunch of gym leaders as well…with very little knowledge about the world you are in now?"

Axem Red smirked. "We watched some videos and did a little—"

He laughed. "Watching a few videos? Doing a little reading? You would only get sent back to the afterlife, without a second chance at redemption this time."

"Well our first step was a success—"

"Well Red, you didn't steal any Pokemon from Ethan. He tricked you with some empty Pokeballs," Black said with a chuckle. Red let out a sigh.

"See what I told you? You don't know as much about your opponents as you think. Armed with my knowledge…and perhaps a few strong Pokemon of your own, I think you can do something."

"So…if we take out this Ethan guy and his band of misfits, you'll give us the money to rebuild the blade and get back at Mario?"

The man laughed. "Just about. What do you say?"

Axem Red walked up to the large circular table in front of them and looked at each of his squad mates. He had sent them out to gather information on their foes and now that they were back, he was super eager to learn more. "Okay Black, you're second in command—"

"And don't you forget it," he said. Axem Red cleared his throat.

"How can I when you remind every single time?! Now like I was about to ask, what more did you learn about Homika?"

Black dumped a few papers on the table, including one that looked like her in a rather sultry shot. Oh he was gonna love the reason for that one. "Well Red…we already know she's the gym leader who loves to uses Poison type Pokemon…and that she's a really terrible rock star but I did learn that she is a very reckless trainer."

"Reckless?"

Black nodded. "She uses poison attacks with reckless abandon. From what that guy told us, poison attacks often…well poison other Pokemon, including the ones on her side."

Red nodded. "So she's prone to hurting her allies as much as her foes."

"And she's a bit of a hot head. Okay I'm putting it lightly, she's got a hair trigger temper…and I thought I was freaking bad! She will flip her lid at the tiniest of things."

"That's…interesting. Gym leaders are supposed to be some of the leader of the region, it sure is hilarious to know that one of the gym leaders can't keep her cool," Red said with a laugh. Black shrugged.

"Eh, whatever. Is that all?"

"Even with her hot head, she is pretty smart. She was able to lead the resistance against Team Rocket while Ethan played the part of the villain, proved to be quite the handful. She's not as sharp as him but she's shown she can carry the load if need be."

Red folded his arms. "So we can't take her lightly."

"If we can get her off her game by angering her, it'll work in our favor."

"So then what are some buttons that might set her off? Did you find that out?"

Black shot him a dirty look. "Why the hell do you think I'm number two? For all your freaking failures, I should be number one! Well as for her pet peeves…she hates being called little, calling her pineapple head is a no no and she is really not fond of that broad Lyra or the gym leader from Johto, Jasmine."

"Jasmine?" Green said. He looked down at the notes he had. "I did a little research on her but she seems harmless."

"She and Ethan had a history…do I really have to explain this all? Would any guy's girlfriend be interesting in hearing about the girls he was interested in before her?"

"I see your point."

Black nodded. "So…if you can push the right buttons, she will snap. And I figure it'll be much easier to deal with her if she's angry and not thinking straight."

Red smiled. "Okay Pink, what did you learn about Lyra?"

"Not much honestly. Well I did learn that she is borderline crazy. Something is just not right with her at times. She seems sane most of the time but there will be those moments when you see everything just isn't right with her. She has one Pokemon, a Meganium that was experimented on by Team Rocket to turn into some sort of super Meganium."

"That's not so good."

Pink laughed. "Nope! Like Black said, she has a history with Ethan but he doesn't seem all that fond of her either. Her cousin is another Pokemon Champion."

Red rubbed his chin. "Anything we could use against her?"

Pink sighed. "Well I guess if you mess with Ethan, that will set her off."

Red set his hands down on the table. "I'd like to avoid messing with Ethan for now. Green?"

"Well…I got information on Skyla and Silver to be safe. Though she looks like she's a dumb red head, she's also pretty sharp. She's also the best pilot in Unova and with her equipment and radar in Striaton, she can find and track down any aircraft."

"Well that's easy enough, we'll just take it out."

Green shrugged. "Yea, I guess we can do that but she's also a huge bird lover and messing with them tends to get her in a funk. Unlike the other two, she tends to get down in the dumps. I guess when your head is so up in the air like her, the only other way is to come down. And come down hard."

Red sat down. So far so good. He had an idea now how they could attack some of them now but the biggest hurdle would be Ethan. "And Silver?"

"Well…he's mellowed out a bit from his older days when he was known as a goon in Johto but he's also the son of Giovanni and talking about his old man really gets the guy riled up. He will just straight up lose it."

Red looked over at Yellow, who was hard at work, stuffing his face with more pizza. The guy had to have a black hole for a stomach; he never thought he had seen more food disappear than around this guy. "Yellow?"

Yellow ignored him of course and continued right on with stuffing his face full of food. Each time he opened his massive jaws and in would go two more slices. Watching him chew was like watching a cow chew, in super slow motion, his jaw alternating in movement like he couldn't decide how he wanted to chew. Black slammed his fist on the table, causing some of the pizza, in fact the whole box to fly off the table and land on the ground. Yellow looked down at it longingly and began to bend over to get it when Black cleared his throat. "Hey fata**! How about you stop feeding that black hole gut of yours and tell us what you found out?"

"Found out?"

"Yes about Iris you fat f***! What did you learn about her?"

Yellow gave them all a confused look and Red shook his head. "Please tell me you actually did some investigating."

"Well…isn't she the dragon—"

"Forget it, he didn't find out anything."

Yellow slammed his fists on the table. "Y-yes I did!"

"You mean you actually stopped to breathe for once?" Black asked.

"Yes, I did! Of course I breathe—"

"I was shocked. I just thought since you had your mouth open all the time, somehow air just snuck in—"

"Iris hates being called a little kid! Happy?" He asked as he returned to his pizza, even though it had fell on the ground. Oh well at least it was something.

"Good f****** lord man…it just fell on the ground and you still want to eat it?" Black asked. Yellow returned the pizza box to the table and ignored them as he went back to stuffing his face, again with the horrible chewing motion that was akin to nails on a chalkboard grating. "Red, can I kick his a**?"

"No, let him feed his face."

"So Red, you asked all of us but did you learn anything about this Ethan guy?"

Red nodded. "Yes but as a foe, he's a tough one. He's a wild card because you really don't know what to expect from him and his Pokemon feed off that. However…he does have some weakness of his own. For one, he has a tendency to go through with plans that no one but him knows about, often alienating his friends until he explains himself."

"Oh well…how do we exploit that one?" Green asked. Red held up a finger.

"I'm not through yet Green. He also is obsessed with trying to protect everyone and every thing. Failing at something he tried so hard to protect can be devastating to him—"

"Sounds like Captain Obvious came in for a landing," Black said.

"He's also…really bad with girls. The guy hangs around with girls most of the time and yet seems completely clueless when it comes to understanding them."

"So?" Pink asked.

"Well that would sort of work with Homika since I remember…she really gets the jealous eye when another girl gets interested in Ethan. And since she'll flip out easily at times…"

"Black is right. It's one thing we could use to our advantage."

Pink yawned. "Don't look at me—"

"Trust us, we weren't. You couldn't charm the pants off a desperate virgin," Black said. Pink slammed her fists on the table.

"No one asked you!"

Black waved her off. "Yea, whatever."

"I bet I could cause a little havoc in his love life if I so wanted."

Red cleared his throat. "I sadly have to agree with Black here. Besides we need you to take care of Lyra anyway."

She sighed and Black nodded his head. "So you want each of us to take on the people we targeted first? That should work for me."

"And Ethan?"

"I think all of us should take on Ethan together. He doesn't work real well when he doesn't have any friends to depend on. He cracks under pressure and would be putty in our hands once that happens. I will start to work on him though."

"How do you plan to do that?"

"Just needle him. Poke and prod at him. Pester him at best. Although I still have to worry about May—"

"That wild girl?" Green asked. "Deport her back to the jungle, problem solved."

"If only it were that simple. I guess I'll have to deal with her as well. I think I figure out something."

"So what's there to know about her?"

"Well…she's a wild girl but I don't think she's all that comfortable with society in general. And messing with Ethan is a sore spot with her—"

"Seems like a running theme," Black said. "Mess with Ethan and you'll have a bunch of people angry with you."

"Yea but if all of us mess with his friends…how will he know who to go to first?"

Black yawned. "Obviously Homika first but if Red picks a fight with May, that leaves the guy with a tough choice."

"Yep…he can't possibly be in all those places at once. And he'll end up hurting someone's feelings probably."

Yellow let out a powerful and smelly burp that leveled all the other Rangers. It smelled like a combo of rotting fish, a skunk and a host of other awful smells…all straight from his gaping mouth. "Well…what about Iris? I don't think she cares much for Ethan. She's still sore about losing the Championship to him."

"The best relationships start out that way," Pink said with a giggle.

"So you all know what to do then? Use their weakness against them to make sure they stay out of our hair."

"Yea but how long does that mean?" Black asked.

"Long enough for us to go and deal with Ethan. Perhaps if we make a big enough strike, they will too busy trying to recover while we take on the main target. Hit them where it hurts."

"Okay Ethan…we ended up destroying their balloon but now what?"

"Isn't that obvious Roxie? With no easy way to track them, we just keep an eye out for them. We already have everyone keeping an eye out for them so if they show up again—"

Her cell phone interrupted him before he could finish. She pulled it out and answered it. "Hey, this is Homika…wait, what did you just say Chuck? That f****** Black Ranger is at it again? Wasn't he satisfied with the destruction he caused already? F*** him! I'm going to…oh just wait there!" She yelled. She hung up and began to stomp off.

"H-hey, where are you going now?"

"That f****** Black Ranger is trying to destroy everything again and I've had it! I'm going to give him a piece of my mind and my fist!"

"Wait but what if it's a trap—"

"Do I look like I care? I want this concert to be special and this f***** wants to make sure it doesn't happen. Well you know what? F*** him, f*** all of those Axem dogs. I'm gonna f*** them all up something fierce!" She yelled as she hurried off. He shook his head and looked at May.

"She has a bad bad temper."

"Real bad but…well I guess we better go after her. Save her from doing something stupid," he said.

"Hey hey, don't be in such a hurry to leave. We've got to talk as well," Axem Red said as he emerged from a nearby tree. He rested his large axe on his shoulders.

"It's you, Red Guy!" May said as she pointed a finger in his direction.

"That's Axem Red girl. Or…well you really aren't much of a girl, are you? More like an animal pretending to be a real girl."

May's eyes grew wide. "H-huh? I-I am a real girl! I'm just like E…only different—"

"Much different. Just because you look like a human, doesn't actually make you one. You're nothing like all the other humans, you're more at home in the jungle with the Pokemon."

"Hey, what are you trying to pull?" Ethan asked. Axem Red ignored him and pointed his axe at May.

"What about it?"

"I can be just like Ethan. I'm learning to be like a normal girl—"

"Yea right. You'll never fit in with the others, they'll always see you as some sort of freak," he said with a shrug. May growled at him and Wiggler let out a surprised squeak.

"May, don't listen to this guy. He doesn't even know you, how can you believe—"

"He's just being nice. That's Ethan's problem, he's just a nice guy—"

He didn't get to finish as she leapt at him and grabbed the handle of his axe. She tried to yank it from his hands but Axem Red was able to put his foot on her stomach and push her away. He stepped forward and swung his axe forward but she rolled out of the way. He rested the axe back on his shoulder and held up a Pokeball. "He's not just a nice guy!"

"Of course he is. He won't tell you the real truth. I'm pretty sure he just pities you, if he could be rid of you, he would. Why should he bother? I mean he already has a rock star girlfriend…why would he waste his time with a wild animal unless it was out of pure pity?"

May shook her head. "Th-that's not true! And I'll show you!"

He laughed. "Really? I'd like to see you try."


End file.
